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toke-dont-choke:

xx-boobies-and-doobies-xx:

melissaimani:

EATING THE KITTY
FOR MATURE READERS ONLY!
Fellas, first things first. If you’re not eating pussy, you’re sucking dick! “Their is nothing wrong with giving head!”. Unlike a real feline , a woman’s kitty must be wet during a sexcapade. You might say, “Oh, I don’t need to ever eat a b*tch out to get her wet.” , but look here muhf*ckah! We men need to think of eating the kitty as our way of saying to her, “even though I am about put you to sleep with this dick better then Nyquil, here’s a treat to show you how I really feel about you. Which means that eating pussy is not suppose to be for just any woman, but rather your main (we all know you’re f*cking another b*tch). If she’s not your main, the f*ck would you even think about eating her out for? Dumb muhf*cka that random b*tch prolly done f*cked 3 cows, a whole football team and or a pet turtle before she met up with you. You need to know where that pussy has been before you go in! JUST SO YOU KNOW! Eating p*ssy is part of a well balanced diet . It’s the breakfast of champions! Fellas, eating pussy keeps ur lips soft ! Don’t agree then yo ass needa go bungee jumping. #NoCord
That brings us to actually eating the pussy. Men in general suck at eating pussy(no pun attended). Not because they don’t like it but because it’s not as easy as it seems. You have to learn it. Rule number one would be that There’s NO RULES! Don’t be afraid to get your face wet! You must know the spots. “The A-Spot”, “The U-Spot” , & most importantly the “G-Spot, which when stimulated can lead to high levels of sexual arousal and powerful orgasms. You want your b*tch to cum right? Yea, thought so. Women love to be teased.
The inner part of her thigh is her most sensitive spots. Lick it, kiss it, spell yo mutha fuck*n name on it with the tip of your tongue. Come close to her pussy, then slide yo’ ass away. Make her feen for that sh*t like a crackhead. Then part the lips with your tongue . Like Moses parted red sea. Fellas, once you parted them “P” lips, dive in. lick her “clit”. Don’t tongue fuck her in and out. Silly rabbit. You don’t want to make your girl say. “Oh he must be new to this.” After your hunnys wet, THEN enter your two fingers. Not one, not three.. but two. When you fingers are inside that coochie, bend them ugly ass fingers of yours into a U SHAPE and move your fingers back and fourth. Your eyes must be open at all times while giving her head dummy. The f*ck your eyes closed for? Once you look up at her face and body movements , you’ll know when you’re doing it right. That oh my god will turn into ooooohhhhhhhh mmmmmmyy lawwwwddddd fu**kkkk!!!!!! Facial expressions are the key! After you feel like you’ve satisfied her with the tongue action. You know what to do next. Don’t let a b*tch fake you out either, when it comes to how you satisfied her with the tongue action. Women are good for that faking sh*t….. i wouldn’t know but im just sayinngggggggg Ladies, trying to make your man feel good about his skills, when you know damn well u want to kick him on the back of his neck with the back of your heel needs to stop. Let the sorry muhf*ckah know how & where you like it. Lets rewind to the part where you and your man had your clothes on & ask yourself. Is my kitty clean or is he about to have a fresh plate of seafood? That’s one of the main reasons men don’t eat you womens “va- gay gay’s”. Let me fine one of yall nasty b*tches wanting some head with a fish fillet pussy. I personally will sock you in your coochie bone and call it a day, but that’s just me. Oh ya, one more thing. Ladies, I beg of you to all have the kitty shaved at all times. Being able to cornroll your pussy hairs is NOT CUTE. Moral of the story fellas. Tease it, Eat it Beat it THEN ….. Sleep it.
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Best thing I’ve ever read in my life. LOLOLOL

90% of the reason im reblogging is the notes omfg